There comes a time in everyone’s life when they feel the need to leave Wellington, even if it’s just for one day. No really, it happens! And a particularly good day to get out of town, if you don’t like the colour green, or potatoes, or Guiness or drunken fake-Irish louts, would be this Saturday. So where to go to get away? How about a wine festival – after we all know, that wine drinkers are a better class of people than beer drinkers – somewhere out of town but still nearby?

Well it just so happens that March 17 is your lucky day, with not one but two festivals taking place nearby. There’s the Wairarapa Wines Harvest Festival in Gladstone (as well as the International Balloon Fiesta and the day before Round the Vines, and also the Great Wellington Wine and Food Festival in Paekakariki. So how do you choose which one to go to when they both cost $25 for an entrance fee? Take our quiz to find out.

1. Do you need to drink beer and listen to an Irish band to enjoy your day?
Yes/No

2. Are you the sort of person who would rent a helicopter (at around $1500) to fly to a festival?
Yes/No

3. Can you read John McGrath’s society pages in The Wellingtonian without wanting to stab out your own eyes or throw up?
Yes/No

4. Don’t you remember how awesomely lovely all the Wairarapa winemakers were at the food show?
Yes/No

5. Do you agree with the statement “Paekakariki, boys are cheeky; Wairarapa, girls are crapper”?
Yes/No

If you’ve answered mostly yes, then to the Great Wellington with you. If you’ve mostly answered no, then I will see you on Saturday in Gladstone.