I’ve never been afraid of eclecticism. A dash of Kiwiana and a touch of faded grandeur can go down a treat if served with a generous slug of hipster irony (see Mighty Mighty). A grab-bag of Nana kitsch can turn into something resembling conceptual art if it’s assembled with wit and flair (see Auckland’s Northern Steamship Company). But sometimes it all goes horribly wrong.
I know! Let’s grab some swatches of loud old carpet and put them in gold frames along the bar! Ooh, let’s get some random balustrades and standard lamps to mix in with the leftover expensive designer chairs from the last place! Hmm, needs more cross-stitch to go with the weatherbeaten weatherboards and seven patterns of wallpaper. Floral-painted female torsos will add some artsy class above the urinals. But it needs to be blokier, so let’s add dozens of TV screens to show our branded Flash animations when the footie’s not on, and the piece de resistance: a map of New Zild made out of Tui caps. Maaaate! [Read more]
Of course, the menu matches the decor, finding new and dizzying ways to match Asian, Italian, Cajun and even Irish ingredients in combinations that would test even an invertebrate’s stomach. On the other hand, the wine list is short and predictable, no doubt churned out by a corporate strategy, and the beer selection is similarly uninspiring.
A handful of the above ideas, either evolving organically as he expression of an eccentric individualist’s personality or composed with deft humour by a talented designer, could have worked a treat. But when it’s all combined into a slick and consciously contrived "wackiness" with the sheen of an nascent franchise ready to spread from Queenstown to the Hutt, it’s enough to make the dirtiest of flies long for the clinical perfection of minimalism.
{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m not expecting a cocktail bar, but when I say "a decent range of drinks" I mean a wide selection of independent beers and wines, rather than the same old same old. The Cross is more pubbish in many ways, but it does have some really good beer on tap (such as Emerson’s Bookbinder) rather than just the Monteiths range and their corporate partners. The Cross also does retro Kiwiana, but with a dash more wit, character and cohesion.
I suppose part of the problem is that this is an in-between sort of location, and they’ve ended up with an in-between sort of bar. Up the Lambton end of town, at least they manage to do up-market pretty well (to Arbitrageur and Concrete in its heyday, I’d add Beaujolais, Wine Loft and maybe Leuven). We’ve always had a bit more of a predilection for the Cuba St vibe, but we can’t deny the appeal of great wine lists and really good food.
Unfortunately, as all of the Green Man’s supporters here have said, it does "pretty good" things and generally all the underlying fundamentals of a bar have aimed at nothing better than ordinary. To disguise this ordariness, they seem to have gone for over-the-top wackiness in the decor, with a result that is not just an abomination in its own right but an insult to the architecture.
The Cross also does retro Kiwiana, but with a dash more wit, character and cohesion.
Over at Poneke, Mr Poneke himself wrote about a recent visit to the Cross (he was a virgin). He wrote of the dated decor, and was surprised to discover that the orange and brown decor was current and not a remnant of the ’70s. (It reminded him of the Beehive’s original decor!)
Well, it is not like there are NO decent bars in Wellington. Green Man is a pub, not a cocktail bar. If that’s what you are looking form, you are probably in the wrong place.
That’s true Wellington does have a lot of good bars. Though none in that part of town (you could make an argument for Concrete, but I feel it has slipped of late).
Whereas Green Man is an emulation of the majority of bars in Wellington, from Malthouse to D4. They aren’t really pubs, they are what "real estate agents"* drink at and call a pub. They have gone for a generic position, part way between actual bar and pub and failed where others (Southern Cross for example) have done well.
* I use " " because I’m trying to describe a type of person, not an occupation.
"Though none in that part of town (you could make an argument for Concrete"
Actually I forgot Arbitrageur, also a good bar (but more of a restaurant)
Hey, I like cheap piss and pizza too, but there’s no call for those ballustrades stuck up behind the bar.
Making a good bar doesn’t mean decorating it like someone’s bachelor uncle’s rumpus room.
I thought at first this was a description of the Round Back Tiki Shack,
He’s looking where any young man would be looking, sir.
Indeed — the humidor behind the bar, methinks.
Wait, his sweatshirt says "lifeguard". So he’s obviously scanning for dangers
He’s looking where any young man would be looking, sir. And good on him!
Oh this had better not be Greenman that replaced Pod.
Also, where is that young man looking?
The Green Man – had lunch there on Saturday, food was pretty good, service was pretty good… thats all for now
"Pretty good" as in you shrug your shoulders and say "yeeeeah it was pretty good"?
Or "pretty good" as in you say "you know, actually it was pretty good"?
I agree entirely. Green man is a horrible atrocity, about as bogan as they come really, well apart from the almighty flashbacks.
Yes, it’s The Green Man. The confusion of the decor is made worse by the fact that it’s been tacked indiscriminately over the remnants of Pod, which for all its failings as a restaurant/bar was a rather lovely piece of architecture. If the same decor had been installed in a ramshackle old building it might have been less offensive, but all the faux-bucolic tweeness looks especially wrong in a purpose-built restaurant building that had exquisite detailing and proportions.
And don’t get me started on the bloody "outdoor" smoking room!
I went there last night – good cheap pizzas. It’s not the best place in town and seems to be struggling to decide what it wants to be. Large seated areas & open areas almost empty while everyone hangs out by the bar in a huddle.
They almost confiscated the cupcakes I brought in too!
I’ve been there 5-6 times since they’ve opened, in various states of intoxication (our office is just across the road).
They have good service, good food, and cold drinks… I can’t see them winning hospo awards anytime soon but it’s is perfectly fine for a quick pint and a $6 pizza after work.
Plus it’s nice to have an alternative to 3C in that neck of the woods.
I dunno. Maybe some of us care about good design and a decent range of drinks, perhaps?
WOW, what’s with the green man hate? They have good food and the bar staff is friendly. They have free darts and plenty of space. 6 dollar pizzas during the week, which are really good. I much rather have this than the overpriced snobbish Pod.
The decor of this pub looks like it’s trying to emulate a suburban garage that’s been turned into a rumpus room and decorated with some bits and pieces that Dave had left over after he converted his gran’s old house into an investment property with three flats.
Yeah, there’s some Export in the fridge there, mate.