The scene: The Green Parrot. Casually taking a very long time with a very big steak.

The target: Winston. A known parrot fiend, here on a date with destiny. Otherwise known as Helen.

Winston makes it easy, as he has regressed to the point where he can only communicate with signs. As the conversation gets juicy (to go with the steak) I make my move. Phone in one hand, I casually saunter in the direction of the bathroom.

Just in time, Winston holds a scrawled sign saying only 'Audrey was right. I knew." Captured on camera, emailed to the main news websites in seconds.

And he goes down.