"Sigh. That was the reflection of your Nokia 6121 in the glass you idiot."
"Maybe the kiwis are camera shy."
"Yes. I believe it's an olde ancient bird belief that Vodafone Internet capable cell phones are a tool of Xenu..."
"Stop right there. I won't hear another word."
We could have gone on like that for hours, but we were in danger of losing light. Ironically of course, we were standing in the nocturnal house at Wellington Zoo, desperately trying to catch a glimpse of a kiwi. Something. Anything my Canadian friend could take in his heart (or camera) back to his native Canadia.
"I don't think there are any kiwis in there."
"Of course there are. It's where the kiwis are kept."
"But I re..."
"Look, I dunno how thing work down there in Canada but here in NZ, we demand to see what is advertised! Er, without actually demanding anything because I'm shy..."
"Right..."
"Let's go see if the monkeys are flinging poo..."
We walked past the "Kiwi House: Apologies, the kiwis are currently out of town breeding and junk" sign and stared up at the crystal clear Wellington late afternoon sky.
"Ok. I need to pee. Meet you by the ratponies. Uh, spider monkeys."
Doo doo doo. Pee pee pee. I heard a scream.
"Oh my god! The grizzly bears are loose!"
I reached into my bag and grabbed my trusty Nokia 6121, incase I could bring this "WHEN GOOD TIMES GO BAD" story to the Wellingtonista and ran towards the screaming Canadian.
In the distance I could see a gathering of people, staring at what looked to be a flock (a gaggle? A murder? A band?) of bears.
I joined the now hysterical Canadian. Considering bears are pretty much the norm as far as household pets go in Canada I wasn't sure why he was so worked up, but as I got closer I realised...
"Oooh oooh. Oooh oooh. I must have fallen asleep that day..."
I glanced down at my internet enabled cell phone and accessed the Wellingtonista website.
I squinted and peered into the dark.
"Hey, there's one!"
"No. That's a rock."
"oh."
"I saw something move!"
"Sigh. That was the reflection of your Nokia 6121 in the glass you idiot."
"Maybe the kiwis are camera shy."
"Yes. I believe it's an olde ancient bird belief that Vodafone Internet capable cell phones are a tool of Xenu..."
"Stop right there. I won't hear another word."
We could have gone on like that for hours, but we were in danger of losing light. Ironically of course, we were standing in the nocturnal house at Wellington Zoo, desperately trying to catch a glimpse of a kiwi. Something. Anything my Canadian friend could take in his heart (or camera) back to his native Canadia.
"I don't think there are any kiwis in there."
"Of course there are. It's where the kiwis are kept."
"But I re..."
"Look, I dunno how thing work down there in Canada but here in NZ, we demand to see what is advertised! Er, without actually demanding anything because I'm shy..."
"Right..."
"Let's go see if the monkeys are flinging poo..."
We walked past the "Kiwi House: Apologies, the kiwis are currently out of town breeding and junk" sign and stared up at the crystal clear Wellington late afternoon sky.
"Ok. I need to pee. Meet you by the ratponies. Uh, spider monkeys."
Doo doo doo. Pee pee pee. I heard a scream.
"Oh my god! The grizzly bears are loose!"
I reached into my bag and grabbed my trusty Nokia 6121, incase I could bring this "WHEN GOOD TIMES GO BAD" story to the Wellingtonista and ran towards the screaming Canadian.
In the distance I could see a gathering of people, staring at what looked to be a flock (a gaggle? A murder? A band?) of bears.
"Rooh rooh. Rooh rooh. Rawr rawr rawr rawright grey..."
I joined the now hysterical Canadian. Considering bears are pretty much the norm as far as household pets go in Canada I wasn't sure why he was so worked up, but as I got closer I realised...
"Oooh oooh. Oooh oooh. I must have fallen asleep that day..."
I glanced down at my internet enabled cell phone and accessed the Wellingtonista website.
"Live @ Wellington Zoo, everyone's favourite hairy band, the Phoenix Foundation!"
And everyone lived happily ever after. Except the Canadian. Turns out there was a "school" of bears loose and they ate him.
THE END.