Anyone else find it amusing that every single dairy in Wellington today had the Dominion Post's "P pipes seized from dairies!" story on proud display out in front of their respective shops.

(And is there a technical term for those wire-frame things that hold the big one-page headline banner for the day?)

Just up the road, right next to Rimutaka Prison, Trentham Military Base and the police dog training venue, into the decommissioned General Motors assembly plant. The GM factory has been upgraded to become a new destination ... the Bird Flu Pandemic Centre, we think. Or something more sinister?

More at this scary new world order website.

So, I hope everyone's now up to speed on creating false identities, after the Dominion Post's useful step-by-step front-page guide yesterday, which talked you through the steps required in getting a fake driver's license or passport. Thanks DomPost!

What really got us nervous though, was the myriad of ways in which our moves and actions throughout the day are tracked by 'the man'.

The DomPost listed several examples of supposedly 'nefarious' personal data-collection. Did you know that the web-browser you're using this very moment to look at this page keeps a record of the fact that you've looked at the page? It's true. Doctors, apparently, also keep records of your various visits. Suspicious? Almost certainly.

And, even more insidiously, the library keeps a record of what items you have borrowed from it at any given time? Why, oh why!? The pervading finger of 'the man' permeates every facet of our life. Our private lives, and indeed, our very identities, it would seem, are under constant threat, from the authorities, or figures who know how to manipulate the system.

Or, on the other hand, maybe it was just the worst front-page 'shock' story, ever.

Let us divert a little from the excesses of martinis and penis pumps to tell you that the Dalai Lama is coming to Wellington! (is that the first time someone has used "Dalai Lama" and "penis pump" in the same sentence?)
He accepted an invitation from the NZ Tibetan Buddhist community and will show up next year.

A public talk and Buddhist teachings are scheduled in Auckland on June 17 and 18, and address to an audience in Wellington on June 19.

So keep that free in your diaries people. The last time he was here was in 2002 when he met Jim Anderton and Phil Goff, lucky bastard.

The front page story on the Dominion Post is Party on, says dying Il Casino Boss, and all media grumbles about the horrible exploitative nature of that stupid newspaper aside, the Wellingtonista is really upset to hear that Remiro Bresolin has terminal cancer. Readers will surely know how dear to our hearts Il Casino, Scopa and Boulot are, so our thoughts and well wishes are with the family.

Might we nominate the two adults who thought that taking eight pre-schoolers for a walk through the Terrace Tunnel as 'Wellington Wally of the Year'? Yes, we might.

[photo courtesy of taniwha]

A new survey published by Mercer Human Resource Consulting rates Wellington as the 12th best city to live in, based on the quality of living offered to residents. Auckland comes in a very respectable 5th, with the rest of the top 12 filled out by Zurich, Geneva, Vancouver, Vienna, Dusseldorf, Frankfurt, Munich, Bern, Sydney and Copenhagen.

American cities don't get a show-in until Honolulu gets them off the mark at 27th (much to the delight of the Canadian press, who aren't shy about pointing out their southern neighbours lower placings).

Can't say the presence of Dusseldorf and Bern in the top 10 fills us with a great deal of confidence in the accuracy of the survey, though.

The little side street at the Taranaki Street end of Courtenay Place has been due for big changes for a while, and now it all looks like it's finally happening. In June, work will start on closing the street and turning it into a pocket park: more details will be released by the council in a couple of weeks. Also, the long-abandoned toilet block which has been the subject of various suggestions over the years (including, hilariously, wetarium and sexual health museum), will undergo a more predictable but nonetheless welcome transformation. Ian "Ferg" Ferguson will convert it into a wine bar by doubling the underground space, lining the walls with wine racks and adding an outdoor drinking area on the roof. This work will also start in June and is expected to open by Christmas under the name "Wine Cellar" (WC for short, of course). If only the walls could speak!

But the first change that we'll see here is the opening of the first downtown Wellington branch of Burger Fuel. That explains the loud drooling noises emanating from Wellingtonista towers. There's no official word on the opening date, but construction work looks well advanced, so I'd guess that it's just a few weeks away. Mmm, booze, burgers and a sunny park: that's got to be better than a turning lane and a handful of car parks.