People say, some­times with even a hint of con­cern in their voices, that we at the Wel­ling­tonista are overly con­cerned with drink­ing.

And it’s true. We are very con­cerned. In fact we’re writ­ing now to warn you about an upcom­ing event that may well involve some drink­ing. What’s worse, it’s the the sort of thing atten­ded by the Boys Your Moth­er Warned You About and the Girls Your Fath­er Snuck Looks At When He Thought Your Moth­er Would­n’t See.

PhotobucketWe refer of course to the notori­ous 12 Pubs of Christ­mas com­ing up this Sat­urday the 19th of Decem­ber.

This event has been run­ning for a num­ber of years now, and has even spread over­seas. Or… was it spread here from over­seas? Opin­ions dif­fer.

We do know that it’s run by a shad­owy fig­ure known only as “Santa”, who appears to be con­tact­ible through the event’s “web site”.

The only pos­it­ive thing we can safely state about this event is that it has rules, and there­fore it’s not a total free-for all. So at least there’s no beardy anarcho-wafflers attached. Apart from Santa, that is—after all, it’s a pretty sus­pi­ciously com­mie thing to just go hand­ing out stuff to kids, right?

Either way, we’d recom­mend keep­ing out of the CBD between the hours of 2pm and 7:30pm this Sat­urday, par­tic­u­larly along the route shown here. Although the traffic con­ges­tion res­ult­ing is likely to be less than Monday’s film premiere, the mor­al cor­rup­tion res­ult­ing is cer­tain to be injur­i­ous to your pub­lic stand­ing, and indeed, your abil­ity to stand.

You have been warned.