Peo­ple say, some­times with even a hint of con­cern in their voic­es, that we at the Welling­ton­ista are over­ly con­cerned with drink­ing.

And it’s true. We are very con­cerned. In fact we’re writ­ing now to warn you about an upcom­ing event that may well involve some drink­ing. What’s worse, it’s the the sort of thing attend­ed by the Boys Your Moth­er Warned You About and the Girls Your Father Snuck Looks At When He Thought Your Moth­er Would­n’t See.

PhotobucketWe refer of course to the noto­ri­ous 12 Pubs of Christ­mas com­ing up this Sat­ur­day the 19th of Decem­ber.

This event has been run­ning for a num­ber of years now, and has even spread over­seas. Or… was it spread here from over­seas? Opin­ions dif­fer.

We do know that it’s run by a shad­owy fig­ure known only as “San­ta”, who appears to be con­tactible through the even­t’s “web site”.

The only pos­i­tive thing we can safe­ly state about this event is that it has rules, and there­fore it’s not a total free-for all. So at least there’s no beardy anar­cho-waf­flers attached. Apart from San­ta, that is—after all, it’s a pret­ty sus­pi­cious­ly com­mie thing to just go hand­ing out stuff to kids, right?

Either way, we’d rec­om­mend keep­ing out of the CBD between the hours of 2pm and 7:30pm this Sat­ur­day, par­tic­u­lar­ly along the route shown here. Although the traf­fic con­ges­tion result­ing is like­ly to be less than Mon­day’s film pre­miere, the moral cor­rup­tion result­ing is cer­tain to be inju­ri­ous to your pub­lic stand­ing, and indeed, your abil­i­ty to stand.

You have been warned.