Last year the Miss Uni­verse New Zea­l­and pageant was held in Lev­in. Which makes sense, because Lev­in is actu­ally pretty much the centre of the uni­verse, based on the laws of grav­ity and dense­ness and all that kind of sci­en­cey stuff. And this kind of shock­ing beha­viour happened at the event: 

The beauty queens sash­ayed their way through Lev­in and Par­a­pa­raumu shop­ping malls last year, leav­ing eld­erly shop­pers agog.

But this year, the pageant is mov­ing to Wel­ling­ton: 

Event organ­iser Val Lott has instead opted to hold the final in Wel­ling­ton after a “gor­geous” day out at the Wel­ling­ton Cup. “The [Lev­in] event centre was not set up well enough. The cater­ing was not up to stand­ard. It cost a dread­ful amount of money,” Mrs Lott said.

But one com­ment­at­or on the art­icle sug­gests that there is a much deep­er con­spir­acy going on:

I think this is all com­plete rub­bish, and the organ­iser just wants to glam the thing up and get rid of the ruggeds that might oth­er­wise have atten­ded.

So what exactly is going on here? Are we through the look­ing glass? Do we even need to men­tion Terry Serepisos here, giv­en that it’s Don­ald Trump who owns the Miss Uni­verse fran­chise? 

Answer the poll – The Miss Uni­verse Pageant is mov­ing to Wel­ling­ton because: