(Almost) Live, from Mighty Mighty, we relay to you the results of the First Annual Wellingtonista Awards for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence!
Compered (and commentary) by Wellingtonista’s own Jo Hubris!
1. When I am not having a martini, I like to drink a:
There were clearly only two real contenders for this award, although various stay-at-home type people thought that their write-in results were more worthy. Perhaps it wasn’t clear enough that the category was basically “best cocktail” as people nominated venues without a specific drink. In the end, it came down to a one point difference. The runner-up was a Falling Water at the Matterhorn,
And the winner is: a caipirinha at Havana.
2. I spent all my rent money on dinner here, but at least when the bailiffs beat me to death I will die blissfully:
If the Wellingtonista ever goes in pursuit of the almighty advertising dollar, we probably don’t want to let on what some of our readers rated as an expensive eating experience. In the end, the result wasn’t too surprising. The runner-up was Francois,
And the winner is Logan Brown.
3. I found $20 in my flatmate’s room, so it’ll be dinner at:
People who nominated their favourite Malaysian restaurants got counted as a vote for Malaysian anywhere, because there are so damn many Malaysian places in town. Not that we’re complaining about that. The runner-up, Sweet Mother’s Kitchen had a good showing, but in the end was obviously defeated by those damn Asian criminals that Deborah Coddington believes are invading New Zealand.
And the winner is Malaysian anywhere.
4. When even Winston Peters has gone to bed, the best bar to go to is:
One voter suggested that Peters sleeps during the day, so the best bar would be a table outside Leuven in the sun. Almost everyone else thought that a late night trip to Cuba St was in order, with fierce competition between the three bars in that area. In the end, Good Luck was the runner up.
And the winner is Havana. Perhaps it’s a case of caipiranias all around.
5. Good things happen in the suburbs too, honest – like this place:
Who knew that Wellingtonians could be so snobby? Several voters claimed that nothing good ever happens in the suburbs and it was therefore a trick question. But it turned out that what we like best is to eat by the beach, and so the results came down to a one point margin again.
The runner-up was the Chocolate Fish CafÃ© in Seatoun, with their famous six dollah shakes.
And the winner is the Maranui Surf Club, Lyall Bay. Good luck getting a table there now!
6. The Welly solution to a hangover is:
Only one voter had commented earlier that they didn’t drink, so it was fairly logical to think that people would need to have an easy solution to a hangover at hand. The runner up was coffee anywhere, but Wellingtonians are obviously bloody communists and beatniks.
And the winner is: Brunch at Fidel’s.
7. The place that’s like, so totally over is:
This was an amusing category to score. Both the Matterhorn and Dockside attracted strongly worded expressions of disgust in the margins, like “the pretension is becoming palpable” or just a simple “UGH!”Â But given the aforementioned popularity of the Falling Water, the Matterhorn wasn’t going to win. The runner up was Dockside.
And the winner, without any comments, is Jet Bar.
8. The single best thing I’ve had in my mouth all year:
Honestly, you people. Kudos for saying “my new boyfriend”Â, and kudos to those who named various tasty-sounding food items. The winner was the only item to receive multiple votes, but at over 10% on a write-in answer, they must be doing something right.
And the winner is Schoc Chocolate.
9. How I entertain those from out of town who might not want to drink all day:
As one voter put it “I don’t have any friends who don’t like to drink”Â. Still, if hypothetically you did, some unlucky tourists would be given a tour of the Hutt, because all ghettos look the same. The view from Mt Vic was just beaten out of the runner-up spot by a trip to Moore Wilson’s. But you’ll probably get some strange looks if you go and make out at Moories.
And the winner is: Te Papa. Helped along by a vote from someone who works there
10. My favourite part of town is:
Although Tom put a lot of pressure behind his whole “Churton Park is so hot right now” movement, almost everybody voted for the winner. Willis Quarter got no love at all (which is fair enough, because there’s like, nothing there), and Lambton Quay was the runner-up, but by a very long shot,
The winner is: Cuba Quarter.
11. Wellington most needs:
According to you lot, there are many things that Wellington needs, including a bigger runway at the airport, a dayspa, a new council, and one fellow went so far as to include a “vote for me when I run!”. Others think salvation lies in roller skates, and in a clear demonstration that someone is out of our key demographic, one person even voted for a bypass. Cleverer people tried to combined things, calling for a tiki bar-themed light rail to the aquarium. Ultimately though, our heads overruled our livers, relegating a tiki bar to runner-up status.
And the winner is: light rail.
12. The event that made me get off my arse the most:
It’s possible that with Wellington’s proliferation of film festivals this question was a little like the Malaysian food one, but chances are people were voting for the grand-daddy of film festivals rather than smaller ones like the Palm Festival. Craftwerk put up a strong fight, but was the runner-up.
And the winner is: the film festivals. Because we wouldn’t want to have to get up off our asses too much.
13. If I wasn’t eating out all the time this is how I’d DIY it food source:
A couple of people who voted for New World pointed out that they were embarrassed that was their answer and they would rather be voting for Moore Wilson’s. They didn’t need to though, as it romped home as the clear winner.
14. I look good because I am dressed by:
My mother dresses some of you guys, apparently. So does your mother. And your girlfriends. And your wives. And your daughters. This would imply that men are useless, and so it is a little ironic that the winner was Mandatory.
15. You can never buy too much stuff from:
There was no clear winner for this category, because it was so wide open. So instead, we will say that you can never buy too much from Parson’s, Real Groovy, Iko Iko and Babylicious, as they were all tied for first place.
16. Most baddest wickedest evilest supervillan of the year:
It seems that some voters are too nice or naÃ¯ve for their own good, as this was the only category with preset nominees that more than one person chose to skip. Some media-savvy picked the Dominion Post as the baddest, and in a case of “blogs are the new newspapers” blogger DPF was also nominated. The weather was a popular write-in, with the fog tying with prolific vitriolic letter-writer H.Westfold, Hataitai for second place. However, it’s quite obvious who is the most evil person in Wellington, and so the winner needs no explanation, although the voter who wrote “She made Jo upset because she took her table at Boulot” (twice!) gets a special mention.
And the winner is: Kerry Prendergast.
17. Damn I’m proud you’re from Wellington entertainer(s):
You know that all the nominees from this category are probably all in bed together right now, don’t you? Take a minute to think about that visual. Hott. This was an extremely close race, with Fat Freddy’s Drop being one point below a three-way tie for the top
And the winners are: The Phoenix Foundation and Flight of the Conchords.
18. I love you the mostest Wellingtonian of the year:
You know who we love the mostest? You people who voted for an amazing selection of people as your favourite Wellingtonians, including musicians like Barnaby Weir, Hollie Smith, Jon Toogood and Warryn Maxwell. You voted for your girlfriends, penpals and managers. You voted for photographer slash scenster Blink and the late, great author Nigel Cox. You voted for fashion designer Laurie Foon, and foodies Remiro Bresolin and the woman who works in the crepe shop. You voted for Public Address people Keith Ng and Che Tibby, Wellingtonistas Tom and Martha, and the people behind Zoomin. You voted for groups like Craftwork and the Real Hot Bitches. One vote was for a sports person — Jerry Collins — and one vote was for the sculpture committee, but the winner was a man in a loin cloth.
That’s right. You love Blanketman the most. Now go and give him a hug.
19. Best foreign person or group to come to little old Wellingtown
Poor John Howard. Not a single person voted for him. I think we should all take a moment to say sorry. In a controversial write-in, one person voted for Animal Collective as the best group, while another voted for them as the worst group ever to come here because of their refusal to do an encore. Some people voted for Elton John, even though he hasn’t actually been here yet.
But of coruse, the winners are the Rolling Stones.
20. Best dub dub duber- Web-Writing-Wellingtonian
You didn’t have to vote for a member of the Wellingtonista in this category, but most of you did. Evidence of our individual campaigning can be found in the votes of people who didn’t bother filling in any other category.
And the winner is: Tom Beard.
21. If this building was a person, I would be making sweet luuurve to it right now:
There are a lot of hott buildings around, evidently. One voter loved the Futuna Chapel “so much it hurts”, but more people love the Embassy theatre which takes the runner-up position.
And the winner is: the Wellington Public Library.
22. My culture fixes are principally delivered by:
Naturally, we are the most cultured city in New Zealand, and this is evidenced by the numbers of people who ticked “all of the above” in this category. But that’s not good enough, so luckily still more people voted individually, leaving us with Unity Books as the runner-up, although other bookshops were written in.
And the winner is: The Paramount Theatre.
23. This suburb is so hot right now:
To the two people who voted for Johnsonville as So Hot Right Now — you’re ridiculous. Hataitai was the runner-up in this category, but it must stand back to watch the hot three-way tie between Island Bay, Newtown and Petone as the winners.
24. Forget parking places, the best park is:
Waitangi Park is perhaps not as controversial as the papers would like you to think it is, as it takes second place in this category, but older is apparently better with the Botanical Gardens in first place by a landslide.
25. Best public art:
One voter tried to tell us that the “ferns” in Civic Square were actually Nikau palms. We instructed him to go and lie down in the centre of the square and look up. This wasn’t enough to get the ferns to win though, as the water whirler beat it to the runner-up placing – despite never being on.
And the winner is that cultural institution the Bucket Fountain.
26. In 2007 I will resolve to:
You’re going to be doing a lot of worthwhile things next year, like going to more live gigs, being more eco-friendly and endeavouring to get the hell out of the Hutt Valley more often. If you do make it as far as running for city council, perhaps we’ll vote for you although we can’t support the person who said that they’re going to be learning to enjoy martinis less. Tied for first place we have visiting more art galleries, supporting local businesses instead of chains, and learning to enjoy drinking martinis, so we suggest that maybe all three could be done at once. Enjoy!