Let Wellingtonista point you towards the Last Supper Club’s bible-quoting yummy sounding menu that’s available at their website. Yesterday it was more elaborate, while the restaurant features a much more simple version. However, today, the real menu is online. We all live happily ever after.

Here’s a hot tip for you – if you are a party of two, don’t make a reservation, because there’s only one table for two and it looks like the card table kids are sent to at Xmas. Instead, you should saunter in early, as this Wellingtonista did, and secure yourself one of the small half-sized booths in the window. Order a bottle of Palliser Autumn 2004 Riesling ($34). Peruse the truncated menu. Wait for your dining companion. Finish your glass of wine. Wait for your dining companion. Order some fries. Be a little peeved when the waiter fills your glass again with that very very tasty wine, because this means that self control is even harder. Wait for your companion…

When your fries ($5) arrive, they will be crispy shoestrings with a scattering of lemon pepper, and teamed with a rather too sweet sweet chilli aioli. You’ll eat half of them before your dining companion finally arrives, but at least you’ll be quick off the mark to tell the waiter that you’d like first the “stack of grilled haloumi with prosciutto, rocket and basil on brushcetta with roma tomatos” ($12), and then the “warm rabbit salad- mustard marinated loin of rabbit, with a rosemary, garlic noodle and mesclun salad drizzled with a balsamic vinaigrette” ($15). You’ll forget that the salad mentions noodles, and they will be a surprise to you later. You’ll probably also instruct your dining companion to order the seafood platter, even though you’re not that big on kai moana, but you know that she’ll dither otherwise. She’ll order it with a side of greens, and you’ll both hope that the greens will come out at the same time as her platter, which should arrive around the same time as your first entree.

The seafood platter will arrive with your haloumi, and it will be large and glorious and good-looking enough that you’ll snaffle up some of raw fish with green chillies, and the chilli and garlic squid which is super tasty but still squid-textured, unfortunately. You’ll avoid the prawns, mussels, salmon dip and fresh anchovies, and wish that you didn’t try the smoked fish cos it’s not to your fancy, but you’ll nevertheless think that it looks like a bloody good time for someone with a taste for the sea, and well priced at $20. Meanwhile your haloumi entree is small, and you’ll devour it quickly and gratefully. When she sees that you’ve now piling mussel shells on your empty plate, the waitress will offer to send out your rabbit while your dining companion is still pigging her way through the seafood, and you’ll remember to ask for her greens as well. You won’t receive either until after the seafood has been cleared, however, and your dining companion won’t get cutlery until you ask for it, whereupon the waiter will say that it’s policy to eat brocolini with your fingers. You’ll forgive him for this though, because he’s trying very hard to squeeze out a few more drops from the wine bottle. The rabbit will taste like gamey chicken, and the warm surprising pasta a little odd in combination with celery, but it’ll make you happy nevertheless. You’ll each pay $45 and leave with fat tummies.