There comes a time in every­one’s life when they feel the need to leave Welling­ton, even if it’s just for one day. No real­ly, it hap­pens! And a par­tic­u­lar­ly good day to get out of town, if you don’t like the colour green, or pota­toes, or Gui­ness or drunk­en fake-Irish louts, would be this Sat­ur­day. So where to go to get away? How about a wine fes­ti­val — after we all know, that wine drinkers are a bet­ter class of peo­ple than beer drinkers — some­where out of town but still near­by?

Well it just so hap­pens that March 17 is your lucky day, with not one but two fes­ti­vals tak­ing place near­by. There’s the Wairara­pa Wines Har­vest Fes­ti­val in Glad­stone (as well as the Inter­na­tion­al Bal­loon Fies­ta and the day before Round the Vines, and also the Great Welling­ton Wine and Food Fes­ti­val in Paekakari­ki. So how do you choose which one to go to when they both cost $25 for an entrance fee? Take our quiz to find out.

1. Do you need to drink beer and lis­ten to an Irish band to enjoy your day?
Yes/No

2. Are you the sort of per­son who would rent a heli­copter (at around $1500) to fly to a fes­ti­val?
Yes/No

3. Can you read John McGrath’s soci­ety pages in The Welling­ton­ian with­out want­i­ng to stab out your own eyes or throw up?
Yes/No

4. Don’t you remem­ber how awe­some­ly love­ly all the Wairara­pa wine­mak­ers were at the food show?
Yes/No

5. Do you agree with the state­ment “Paekakari­ki, boys are cheeky; Wairara­pa, girls are crap­per”?
Yes/No

If you’ve answered most­ly yes, then to the Great Welling­ton with you. If you’ve most­ly answered no, then I will see you on Sat­ur­day in Glad­stone.