This list was pub­lished in abbre­vi­ated form in the first issue of Fish­Head, which is hav­ing its launch party tonight. Here it is in all its smoking-pro­mot­ing, Ori­ent­al Bay-enra­ging glory…

1. Wander aim­lessly around the Cuba Quarter: win­dow-shop, have cof­fee, sit in the Mall & people-watch, draw or pho­to­graph the build­ings.

2. Go to the water­front on a sunny day: Put your polar­oid sunglasses on, then get some­thing nice in a cone from Kaf­fee Eis on the water­front, and go spot­ting eagle rays in the Frank Kitts park lagoon. Don’t for­get to point them out to swim­mers and people in small ves­sels.

3. Swim on the South Coast: Ori­ent­al Bay is for pussies. Any of the beaches near Seatoun are where it’s at, or if you’re hard enough, brave the surf and the cold at Lyall Bay.

4. Go bush, then go posh: Zeal­and­i­a’s all very well, but take the #14 bus to Otari/Wilton Bush for free nat­ive bush­ery, water­falls, tui and an 800-year-old rimu. At night, take the #14 in the oth­er dir­ec­tion to peek into all the expens­ive real estate along Ori­ent­al Parade and Roseneath where the res­id­ents obli­gingly leave all their lights on, and ima­gine what it would be like to be rich.

5. Hide out: Go to almost any bar that’s tucked away upstairs, in a base­ment or down an alley; Hooch, Hawthorn, Lib­rary, Good Luck, Watusi, Mighty Mighty are all gems.

6. Get cul­tured: Te Papa and the City Gal­lery are obvi­ous choices, but add vis­its to Manky Chops, the Adam Art Gal­lery and Museum of Wel­ling­ton City and Sea and you’ll feel much more well-roun­ded (and sore-footed).

7. To mar­ket, to mar­ket: Head to Wait­angi Park on Sundays for the City Market/Harbourside Mar­ket combo, plus fresh fish when the boat pull up to the dock.

8. Pic­nic on Par­lia­ment’s lawn: We don’t mind if you have a sneaky smoke or a drink while you’re there, either. Try to ima­gine being able to do that in any oth­er coun­try.

9. Do a whirl­wind tour of the Hutt: No, really! Go to the New­Dowse then head to Petone to stock up on amaz­ing cheese at Cul­tured , lust after all the pretty things at Wanda Har­land then bottle your own artesian water.

10. Read The Wel­ling­tonista every day