Taika with gun.jpgI’m going to ask 10 somewhat inane questions to some great local talent, and report back here. First in the series is the divine Mr Taika Cohen Waititi. His film Eagle Vs Shark is currently taking America by storm, and we here at Wellingtonista headquarters are almost exploding with pride.

1. I keep coming back to Wellington because…
I live there and probably always will.

2. I leave Wellington because…
I live there and probably always will.

3. Wellington needs…
More bypasses to counteract the original bypass. It also needs a giant sculpture of a man holding a baby in one hand and a bazooka in the other. In my opinion.

4. Wellington doesn’t need…
The Dominion Post or big mama bypass lady (you know who I mean)

5. When I’m bored I…
Wank off.

6. Given a million dollars I’d…
Give it all away to the poor. And then I’d snatch it back and say “Psyche!”. Then I’d laugh and laugh and laugh. Then I’d fly away with my own specially designed rocket pack designed for me by scientists.

7. What is your favourite word?
Wank. It is so ridiculous. Especially with a New Zealand or Australian accent. Sounds more like Wenk.

8. Where is the best coffee?
South America I imagine. The best coffee in Wellington can be found at that child-care centre which doubles as a cafe down in Lyall Bay.

9. How do you manage Mondays?
I hide them in between Sunday and Tuesday where they won’t be noticed. Sometimes I place them in between Saturday and Sunday just to fuck with peoples’ heads.

10. Would you rather be the next Peter Jackson, or the next superhero?
I’d rather be Peter Jackson because he doesn’t need to run about in silly pants trying to save people – he just bathes in a pool of money. Well, I don’t know if he does but that’s what I’d do. If I were rich I’d just lie around all day on a bed made of money and I’d just laugh and laugh and laugh. And wenk.