It does­n’t hap­pen all that often, but occa­sion­al­ly the Welling­ton­istas will plan excur­sions with friends from out of town that don’t entire­ly revolve around a bar. And on those times, we want to do things that are a lit­tle bit touristy, but not over­ly so, so this is how we do it.

How I enter­tain those from out of town who might not want to drink all day:

After the jump, tourist activ­i­ties ho!

A. The Chocolate Fish


You’ll have to be quick to get in and enjoy the Choco­late Fish (when is it clos­ing again?), and you’ll have to be patient to get a table, but the dri­ve out to Scorch­ing Bay alone will make the trip worthwhile.This Welling­ton cafe is such an insti­tu­tion it even has it own Face­book group (if you con­sid­er that to be a lev­el of praise, which appar­ent­ly news­pa­pers do, but any­one who belongs to Face­book would­n’t). There’s a lot to love about the place. Wait­ers in fluro vests deliv­er food across to the tables over­look­ing the water, the chairs will remind you of being back at school except they’re hand­paint­ed with bright designs, there’s a big bot­tle of com­pli­men­ta­ry sun­screen by the water jugs, and the view out over the sea down to the South Island can’t be beat­en. After­wards if it’s warm, you can go for a swim at Scorch­ing Bay or in one of the many “secret” lit­tle bays that the Welling­ton­ista favour. And if it’s too crowd­ed to eat in, why not just grab one of their $6 gourmet shakes to go? Yes, that’s right. Six dol­lars for a milk­shake. That’s enough of a tourist des­ti­na­tion in its own right!

B. Tour of Parliament

(though you’ll need a drink after­wards)
There’s a rea­son why we get to see drunk politi­cians weave their way into cabs late at night slur­ring obscen­i­ties about var­i­ous things. Welling­ton is the Cap­i­tal you see. We live in the seat of POWER Mwu hu ha ha HA!

Want to see where all that pow­er sits and how it all works? Then go on the incred­i­bly infor­ma­tive tour of Par­lia­ment. Giv­en the Welling­ton­ista’s 127 years com­bined pub­lic ser­vice we have done the tour many times and each time it’s dif­fer­ent and you learn new things.

Some­times, you are allowed to see the actu­al peo­ple you vot­ed for at work. Let’s just say it’s not always inspir­ing.

C. City Gallery

You can spend hours here, as the spaces clev­er­ly carved out of the old library can hold any­thing from one major exhi­bi­tion to four small­er ones. Tucked away in the back next to one of Welling­ton’s best cafes (Nikau) is the tiny Michael Hirschfeld Gallery, which hosts an ever-chang­ing series of exhi­bi­tions by local artists. And even when it’s closed, there are video instal­la­tions by the entrance to keep you enter­tained or bemused, and the whole front of the gallery is one big art­work, cour­tesy of Ralph Hotere and Bill Cul­bert.

D. That tree at the top of the cable car

tree
Com­ing to a new city and being shown around by a local can be one of life’s true plea­sures. Come over to my house, come over and play indeed!

Some­times the best things in life are free. Imag­ine if you will being whisked around the coast by car, tak­ing an aim­less walk through the city view­ing every­thing with fresh eyes, then hav­ing an expe­ri­enced local take you firm­ly by the elbow and steer you toward the cable car.

“Oh but the best is yet to come,” he claims. So true.

The botan­i­cal gar­dens offer a fan­tas­tic view of the city and a climbable tree from which to be the queen of all you sur­vey. You know they say, “you can’t beat Welling­ton on a good day” — well we think it should be amend­ed to “you can’t beat Welling­ton on a good day up a big-arsed tree” because noth­ing beats climb­ing a tree for good clean fun. One Welling­ton­ista can mark her con­ver­sion from Auck­lan­der to wannabe Welling­ton­ian to one fine after­noon up a tree with a beer, a Ger­man tourist and a local who knew how to show­case the charms of Welling­ton.

WINNER!!!
E. Wellington waterfront on a sunny week day

dive
Is there any place more spec­tac­u­lar for a stroll than the water­front? We don’t think so. Read the beau­ti­ful sculp­ture poet­ry. Laugh at the kids (and adults!) jump­ing off the wharf. Oggle the drag­on-boaters. Eat some gela­to. Argue about whether or not Te Papa is the fug­gli­est or most awe­some build­ing ever. And then point across the water at the Hutt and laugh. Man it’s great to be in Welling­ton.

Pack a hip flask, and check out the “best­non­drink­ing” tag for venues on Zoomin.