Bot Gardens, WgtnAhem … climbs up onto soap­box. I have some­thing to say about the Botan­ic Gar­dens, the Coun­cil & Gar­den staff & some of the peo­ple who go there.

1. To the Wgtn City Coun­cil & Gar­den staff:

  • Many thanks for the dog­gy-doo bag dis­pensers at the main gates, cable car & Rose Gar­den – I’m not sure if all dog own­ers have noticed them yet (more on that lat­er), but even those of us usu­al­ly pack­ing more plas­tic than the dash­board of an 80s Japan­ese import get caught out now & then. If I’m allowed a wish list, then anoth­er one at the Glen Rd entrance and (dare I say it) Mag­pie Lawn would be grand!
     
  • The ‘Get off your bikes & walk’ signs are real­ly piss­ing some cyclists off, if the fre­quent­ly ripped up signs are any­thing to go by. I think that ‘Please bike con­sid­er­ate­ly – go slow’ signs would be a good com­pro­mise, par­tic­u­lar­ly on those roads that are already used by cars. Every­where else, they should walk. Most cyclists are con­sid­er­ate any­way (not all – and more on that lat­er too).
     
  • The play­ground used to arguably have the great­est drink­ing foun­tain in the South­ern Hemi­sphere. What hap­pened to it? The one there now is ade­quate, the oth­er was attrac­tive & func­tion­al. Could we get one at the top of the Cable Car too? And (dare I say it again) Mag­pie Lawn?

More after the jump

2. To walk­ers of dogs through the gar­dens:

  • Every 4–5 years, the coun­cil sends waves of dog con­trol offi­cers to the gar­dens, morn­ing & evenings to hide in bush­es & catch you when you let Tid­dles off his lead. They come because the gar­den­ers com­plain about the amount of dog shit in the gar­dens. How do I know this? Last time they blitzed, I asked the dog con­trol offi­cer & he gave me an hon­est answer.
     
  • There’s a lot of dog shit in the gar­dens right now. Just say­ing. Pick up after your dog or pay the hefty price. I think it’s $300.
     
  • Argu­ing or abus­ing dog con­trol offi­cers is futile & coun­ter­pro­duc­tive. Last blitz, one guy with a black spoo­dle got quite abu­sive call­ing the offi­cers ‘Gestapo’ and sim­i­lar. Short­ly after­wards a man was fined for hav­ing his black spoo­dle off a lead. Not the abu­sive spoo­dle own­er as it hap­pens. Coin­ci­dence? You be the judge.

3. To cyclists:

  • As it stands, rid­ing through the gar­dens, includ­ing the stretch between the cable car & Sala­man­ca Rd is against the rules. I don’t par­tic­u­lar­ly agree with this, but if you’re going to stop right on top of a Bike-buster sign to tell me off about my dog, who is on a lead, get­ting in your way, you sir, have lost all my sym­pa­thy.
     
  • Like­wise, if you’re going to bar­rel past me, my wife & our dog, at speed, around a blind bend on a pedes­tri­an track, with your poo coloured design­er lycra, hel­met & ‘don’t mess with me I’m impor­tant’ look on your face, you earn the loud ‘Fuck­wit!’ aimed at your speed­ing and ample arse. I expect to find you over the bon­net of a car any day soon. And hope­ful­ly not a bowled old age pen­sion­er, because you’ll get more than a ‘fuck­wit’ from me if it is.
  • And update! There is a pub­lic meet­ing for cyclists on this very issue, next Tues­day (24th) at 5.30pm Kel­burn Scout Hall (right in the mid­dle of the offend­ing track.

4. To whomev­er is respon­si­ble for the appear­ance of ‘Plants have been stolen from this area’ signs in sundry loca­tions:

  • WTF? It’s not even edi­ble plants being filched. Dudes, it’s not cool to steal plants from the Botan­ic Gar­dens, not cool at all.