Coffee for John Key and America’s Cup fans

by Joanna on November 12, 2013

Tonight we went to the opening of the Nespresso “boutique” on Lambton Quay, because frankly, we’d go to the opening of envelopes if they involved Louis Roederer champagne(1) (although a number of people we know turned down the invitation, sent us links to a Buzzfeed article about disposable pods and then commissioned haikus) and it was an interesting night.

The wine, the coffee cocktails which we couldn’t drink more than one of because caffeine after midday, though we did note they were more booze-tasting than your typical espresso cocktail normally tastes, the scented candles in the gift bag and the catering by The Larder were all spectacular.  Good work by the PR people. The room was an interesting mix of people. Chefs including TAWA winner Martin Bosley and talking man Rex Morgan were there (and we got tweets from Taylors and La Boca Loca about how they couldn’t make it). Taika Waititi was there, and we were told it was because he’d made an artwork out of the capsules. Chris Parkin from the Museum Hotel was there – I think they have Nespresso machines in all their suites. There were some guys wearing shirts covered in logos who we figured were from the money boat. Warren Maxwell from Trinity Roots/The Little Bushmen was there, and was quite possibly the coolest person ever. He just closed his eyes and sang while the beautiful people ignored him except to Instagram a shot of him playing at the end. In fact, he smiled very devilishly before he broke out into ‘Home, Land & Sea’. Oh man, that voice, that song, what a treat.

John Key showed up flanked by Men In Suits And Ear Pieces, and in his speech, he compared himself to George Clooney. It’s true, they are pretty similar in how they both really care about international aid, except for John Key. He mentioned how in his house, which you know how much it cost thanks to the NZ Herald, he’d had an expensive espresso machine plumbed in, but it didn’t work. Meanwhile his “mid priced” Nespresso machine always works perfectly, so much so that he’d bought one for his daughter who lives in Paris. We tried to look up how much the machines run for, but the Flash crashed our slow laptop. We did find a brand new moneyboat version on Trademe for !~$700 though with a RRP of $900. We also tried to do a cost per cup analysis, but you had to have a login to order pods, and we didn’t feel like signing up.  You can buy a case to hold your pods (not the pods themselves) for $65 on Trademe though. The New Zealand Herald has an article about costs as well.

We mentioned articles expressing concern about the environmental impact of Nespresso (while we continue to buy our coffees in takeaway cups anyway), but the boutique had a whole wall dedicated to talking about their environmental commitment. Nespresso boutiques will recycle your pods for you AND sell you a $35 rubbish bin to store them in as well!

For those of you who have a Nespresso machine, like the person on Twitter who has been very upset with us for not knowing the exact opening date of the shop, you should probably note that there is not a whole lot of parking right outside the door of the boutique (there is a bus stop right there but that may not be of interest), though there is parking at the nearby TSB arena for only $12 an hour, which will accommodate your SUV nicely if you decide to make the trek in from Churton Park. For us, the shop is very prettily designed, much like a MAC counter, and it IS just like the George Clooney ads, and the staff were all very friendly, but much like our confusion when Starbucks opened, we just don’t understand why it could be a thing in Wellington.

In 2011, Nestlé was listed No. 1 in the Fortune Global 500 as the world’s most profitable corporation according to Wikipedia.

Robyn November 12, 2013 at 10:18 pm

This was a good review, but I feel that you could have been more deferential to our Prime Minister, Mr John Key. After all, he went out of his way to attend a coffee pod shop opening and you should be grateful for that.

Ranty November 13, 2013 at 6:53 am

Yeah, what’s that about? Why does the government suddenly care about some-retail-thing?

sue November 14, 2013 at 9:24 am

Best guess about to sponsor the america’s cup team and would like some tax breaks in return. Or maybe they are going to pay for a new conference center in wellington?

Theresa November 13, 2013 at 2:57 pm

Nice writeup, Jo!

Cheryl November 17, 2013 at 5:43 am

I’m just gobsmacked that so many famous faces were there for such a seemingly insignificant and not very useful contraption….johnkey? At a coffemachine opening? Americas cup? Really? Great write up btw

Joanna November 18, 2013 at 9:05 pm

Apart from John Key, I think it is all about $ponsorship.

John H November 27, 2013 at 3:03 pm

So what does the stuff taste like? Anyone tried it? (I mean without the added booze…). It looks like espresso for those who can’t be bothered to learn how to use a proper machine. The pods are about $1 each but they only have 5 gm coffee in them so that makes it c.$200 per kilo of coffee and you would need at least two pods to get a half-decent double-shot.

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