Ten Years in Pōneke Part Four – Throwing Down the Escooter Gauntlet

Or, how far can you travel on a Flamingo before it dies on you? 

A Pōneke Easter Experiment.

Do not try this at home. It’s not wholly dangerous, but it is a little foolhardy. Mostly it’s just time consuming and will make your legs ache.

I’ve been scooting ever since I was a kid. I was a big fan of my push scooter when I was younger – much more so than my bike, and these days, I use Pōneke’s escooters every single day.

I’m pretty sure I’m one of the most prolific escooterers in the city – if not the most prolific. That’s based in fact, and science and stuff.

Lime emailed me one year saying “congrats, you’re part of the top 1% of scooter users in the world” which wasn’t exactly a compliment, but I had travelled 35km around Lower Hutt on an escooter in one day that year so they were probably right.

Y’all know me, I love a little quest. I’ve been thinking about this one for a while.

In 2025, I’m doing ten things to celebrate living in Pōneke for ten years. There’ll be stories. Pics. Nonsense. Check out the series here.

How far can you travel on a Flamingo escooter?

As it turns out, further than you might think.

My goal was simple: get a scooter from a drop point with a completely full battery and ride it till it died.

I had three rules:

no stopping

no more than one foot on the ground at a time if slowing/curb jumping

if my life/welfare or someone else’s life/welfare is at risk, stop immediately

That last rule in particular was for me. I’m stubborn and a masochist. I would continue through my dumbassery and injure myself – I’ve done it before. I may have possibly broken my knee in 2022 doing so during my one of four falls in seven years of riding – but we’ll never know.

I also wanted to make sure that my desire to do a quest did not overrule my desire to be mindful and careful of my scooter technique.

The thing is about escooting is that people think it’s lame (valid) and it’s easy (not correct). It’s easy to be okay at it, but it’s a lot harder to be genuinely good at it.

Not to get all arrogant here, but unlike most physical things, I’m good at it. I’ve fallen off four times in seven years of scooting essentially every day. I know how to coax scooters up tricky hills, down challenging slopes and on rough terrain.

No word of a lie, I moved house from Te Aro to Mount Cook last year carrying everything I owned except my bed and my 80L tubs on my back.

I also once scootered from Te Aro to Pukerua Bay because the trains weren’t running.*

It’s a genuinely physical experience.

It burns calories, improves your balance, core and coordination, and is fucking exhausting to do for long periods. As I type this, I desperately want a nap, because like driving, you’re in control of a vehicle, and you’re actively watching for hazards and reacting in real time whilst you do the controlling, whilst absorbing shock through your legs from the ground.

But I digress.

On Easter Sunday I ran an escooter battery down without stopping or touching the ground. Here’s how I did it.

It’s Easter Sunday. I’ve been tossing this idea around in my head since Christmas. I couldn’t do it then cause my chronic fatigue was flaring, but today I feel… passable. The concrete outside my apartment window is wet from overnight rain, but it’s not actively raining.

It’s not perfect conditions, but I’ll be fine.

I pick up a scooter from the drop zone by the Fresh Choice on Abel Smith Street. The roads aren’t super busy, but I know I’ll have to have some luck crossing things like Karo Drive and Brooklyn Road when I get to them.

I’m in luck to cross the motorway, the traffic light is green and I whizz on by. It takes a little effort and timing to get all the way to Brooklyn without stopping, but I manage. When I repeat this same trip on Tuesday night, it’s not nearly as easy. Planning. It works!

Heading down the hill into Happy Valley is no picnic, as it starts to rain again. I briefly consider abandoning the quest, but it’s a quest, rather than a fun little jaunt, so I keep going, getting absolutely drenched but having a decent time regardless.

Ōwhiro Bay’s an odd little place. They’ve been recently campaigning for better bus services (which they need). I mostly know the area from the time I walked six hours and then had to take a disused path from the mountains down into Red Rocks and had to freehand climb down bits of it (0/10 don’t recommend).

Around Ōwhiro Bay, dodging past folk running and the occasional car, I whizz on past Island Bay and straight on towards Houghton. This section is harder as there’s a lot more people about, and roadworks. There’s a bit of work site that’s currently being held up by wooden beams overhead – too high for me standing approx 5 ft 10 on an escooter – but I duck under them all and also don’t fall off at the same time! Win win win.

Bays pass by in quick succession. Princess, Waitaha, Lyall. I’m running at half empty battery-wise – surely there’s not much of my trip left?

Not so.

There’s roadworks on Stewart Duff Drive towards the airport, but fortunately it’s quiet enough that I can duck past two dogs and their owner, and make it into the airport proper. I stare, for a moment, still scootering.

Pretty sure half the golf course hadn’t been turned into a carpark when I was last here… but I’m not sure which is more of an environmental calamity.

It’s at this moment that I realise I’ve not eaten for hours and I am spinny. Quest abandoned for the moment – sue me, I’m more of a hazard if my head’s not on straight, I buy an overexpensive sandwich and continue my quest, less likely to fall off in the middle of the road.

Surely the dang scooter will conk out somewhere in Kilbirnie. Right? Right?

No.

Through the runway tunnel, and down the Kilbirnie bike path. It’s not raining anymore, and this is the easiest bit of the city to scooter, so I’m having a blast. Still haven’t fallen off yet. Yay me.

Up the hill, crossing into Newtown. The scooter’s at 1.5 battery bars left, and I’m wondering if it’ll make it, going slower and slower and slower as it goes… but it does! We slide on downhill, picking up speed, passing people coming out of Easter Sunday church services. The gods, whomever they are, are smiling on me today.

The roads are decently clear through Newtown, and down towards the Basin. I get incredibly lucky with the lights at the corner towards the tunnel, and escape onto Kent Terrace. Home stretch, right?

You’d think.

I’ve been standing for at least an hour now, and my thighs and knees are killing me. Love scootering, but no joke, it does get kind of painful when you’re not really permitted to move.

Luck with the lights a handful more times gets me to the intersection of Majoribanks and Kent Terrace. This time, I have to wait. I do little circles on the scooter as I do to keep my balance, before the lights flick green and off we go again!

Along the path, crossing at Cable Street, and then out onto the wonderful, flat stretch of concrete by Waitangi Park. I’ve totally forgotten it’s Waterfront Market day, and though I’m tempted, I do not stop. We’ve still got a bar left of battery. I can coax more out of this.

Ducking past Circa, around Whareipo Lagoon and crossing Jervois Quay by the park, I follow the Commonwealth Walkway (yes, it has a name) through the carpark, crossing Cable St again, and down through Bond Street, heading south along Lombard.

The scooter slows… ominously.

One bar remaining. A little more… surely…

One cross of Manners St, about ten metres later and the scooter slows to a halt.

I’ve done it! One full escooter battery depleted entirely, without stopping (barring y’know the health thing), falling or putting both feet on the ground at the same time.

What a rush.

I have completed my quest. What did I learn from it? Not a whole lot. Perhaps slightly better scooter control in wet weather. Definitely a lot of practise and care around obstacles. I think I’m a better escooter rider after this quest than I was beforehand.

Leaving the scooter where it is, I walk south down Victoria Street towards my home. It’s been a wild trip, but I’m pleased I made it.

Total distance scootered: 24.53km

Total time taken to scooter that distance: About an hour and a half.

I’m not affiliated with Flamingo, I just really like their scooters! I was very mindful to take utmost care when doing this quest, and only scootered at top speed when I was in completely clear people-less areas that were dry. I was also wearing a helmet and protective gear the entire time.

Don’t try this at home. 

I would also like to note that the amount an escooter battery depletes depends on what you’re doing with it. I could have done this entire quest on the flat ground and got another 5-10km out of the battery, but I think that’s fundamentally unrealistic to the nature of scootering in Pōneke.

Some other escooter highlights

– 46km trip from Auckland CBD to Rosebank and back via Mt Eden

– The one time Google Maps took me down Kio Road in Kio Bay (it has ten switchbacks)

– The one time Google Maps took me down Kaiwharewhara Bridle Track from Khandallah to the CBD in the pitch darkness and I thought I was going to die

– Having to backtrack my way back along a seriously busy road with a dodgy scooter battery cause half of Seaview is no-go zones.

– Scooting the length of the Avon River in Christchurch and then most of the way back too.

Other notes

*Aformentioned airport break.

**Excluding that tiny section of road between Glenside and Takapu Road – you can’t take escooters through there (yet).