Some Thoughts on the Botanic Gardens

Ahem … climbs up onto soap­box. I have some­thing to say about the Botan­ic Gar­dens, the Coun­cil & Garden staff & some of the people who go there.

1. To the Wgtn City Coun­cil & Garden staff:

• Many thanks for the doggy-doo bag dis­pensers at the main gates, cable car & Rose Garden – I’m not sure if all dog own­ers have noticed them yet (more on that later), but even those of us usu­ally pack­ing more plastic than the dash­board of an 80s Japan­ese import get caught out now & then. If I’m allowed a wish list, then anoth­er one at the Glen Rd entrance and (dare I say it) Mag­pie Lawn would be grand!
   
• The ‘Get off your bikes & walk’ signs are really piss­ing some cyc­lists off, if the fre­quently ripped up signs are any­thing to go by. I think that ‘Please bike con­sid­er­ately – go slow’ signs would be a good com­prom­ise, par­tic­u­larly on those roads that are already used by cars. Every­where else, they should walk. Most cyc­lists are con­sid­er­ate any­way (not all – and more on that later too).
   
• The play­ground used to argu­ably have the greatest drink­ing foun­tain in the South­ern Hemi­sphere. What happened to it? The one there now is adequate, the oth­er was attract­ive & func­tion­al. Could we get one at the top of the Cable Car too? And (dare I say it again) Mag­pie Lawn?

More after the jump

2. To walk­ers of dogs through the gar­dens:

• Every 4–5 years, the coun­cil sends waves of dog con­trol officers to the gar­dens, morn­ing & even­ings to hide in bushes & catch you when you let Tiddles off his lead. They come because the garden­ers com­plain about the amount of dog shit in the gar­dens. How do I know this? Last time they blitzed, I asked the dog con­trol officer & he gave me an hon­est answer.
   
• There’s a lot of dog shit in the gar­dens right now. Just say­ing. Pick up after your dog or pay the hefty price. I think it’s $300.
   
• Arguing or abus­ing dog con­trol officers is futile & coun­ter­pro­duct­ive. Last blitz, one guy with a black spoodle got quite abus­ive call­ing the officers ‘Gestapo’ and sim­il­ar. Shortly after­wards a man was fined for hav­ing his black spoodle off a lead. Not the abus­ive spoodle own­er as it hap­pens. Coin­cid­ence? You be the judge.

3. To cyc­lists:

• As it stands, rid­ing through the gar­dens, includ­ing the stretch between the cable car & Sala­manca Rd is against the rules. I don’t par­tic­u­larly agree with this, but if you’re going to stop right on top of a Bike-buster sign to tell me off about my dog, who is on a lead, get­ting in your way, you sir, have lost all my sym­pathy.
   
• Like­wise, if you’re going to bar­rel past me, my wife & our dog, at speed, around a blind bend on a ped­es­tri­an track, with your poo col­oured design­er lycra, hel­met & ‘don’t mess with me I’m import­ant’ look on your face, you earn the loud ‘Fuck­wit!’ aimed at your speed­ing and ample arse. I expect to find you over the bon­net of a car any day soon. And hope­fully not a bowled old age pen­sion­er, because you’ll get more than a ‘fuck­wit’ from me if it is.

• And update! There is a pub­lic meet­ing for cyc­lists on this very issue, next Tues­day (24th) at 5.30pm Kel­burn Scout Hall (right in the middle of the offend­ing track.

4. To whomever is respons­ible for the appear­ance of ‘Plants have been stolen from this area’ signs in sun­dry loc­a­tions:

• WTF? It’s not even edible plants being filched. Dudes, it’s not cool to steal plants from the Botan­ic Gar­dens, not cool at all.