Taika with gun.jpgI’m going to ask 10 some­what inane ques­tions to some great loc­al tal­ent, and report back here. First in the series is the divine Mr Taika Cohen Wai­titi. His film Eagle Vs Shark is cur­rently tak­ing Amer­ica by storm, and we here at Wel­ling­tonista headquar­ters are almost explod­ing with pride.

1. I keep com­ing back to Wel­ling­ton because…
I live there and prob­ably always will.

2. I leave Wel­ling­ton because…
I live there and prob­ably always will.

3. Wel­ling­ton needs…
More bypasses to coun­ter­act the ori­gin­al bypass. It also needs a giant sculp­ture of a man hold­ing a baby in one hand and a bazooka in the oth­er. In my opin­ion.

4. Wel­ling­ton does­n’t need…
The Domin­ion Post or big mama bypass lady (you know who I mean)

5. When I’m bored I…
Wank off.

6. Giv­en a mil­lion dol­lars I’d…
Give it all away to the poor. And then I’d snatch it back and say “Psyche!”. Then I’d laugh and laugh and laugh. Then I’d fly away with my own spe­cially designed rock­et pack designed for me by sci­ent­ists.

7. What is your favour­ite word?
Wank. It is so ridicu­lous. Espe­cially with a New Zea­l­and or Aus­trali­an accent. Sounds more like Wenk.

8. Where is the best cof­fee?
South Amer­ica I ima­gine. The best cof­fee in Wel­ling­ton can be found at that child-care centre which doubles as a cafe down in Lyall Bay.

9. How do you man­age Mondays?
I hide them in between Sunday and Tues­day where they won’t be noticed. Some­times I place them in between Sat­urday and Sunday just to fuck with peoples’ heads.

10. Would you rather be the next Peter Jack­son, or the next super­hero?
I’d rather be Peter Jack­son because he does­n’t need to run about in silly pants try­ing to save people – he just bathes in a pool of money. Well, I don’t know if he does but that’s what I’d do. If I were rich I’d just lie around all day on a bed made of money and I’d just laugh and laugh and laugh. And wenk.