Last night while the Wellingtonista and FAGs and SAGs (that’s Friends and Girlfriends, and also Sisters and Girlfriends, there were no Partners present) were at Southern Cross quiz, we realised that hey, they don’t give us chipped glasses anymore! That means things have got better since we complained about them. It has also been noted that since we bitched about the decor at the Port Cafe, they have in fact reinstated a cheaper menu for takeaway, which is a good thing. So, to continue on from those great developments, here’s some more suggestions as we strive for perfection.

1. That the Cross gets a $35 wine. We’re bored of drinking the $30 Five Flax, and we feel like the jump up to $40 as the next cheapest wine on their list is too big a jump. We appreciate that their Matariki Cab/Merlot and Ata Rangi Rose are lovely, but we’d settle for something less awesome for less pricey.

2. That Word of Mouth labels its salads. It sucks to queue for ages for what you think is going to be yummy coleslaw with kumara, only to discover that (eww!) there is tuna in the mix. They have a pencil-written list on their wall, with meat, dairy and allergens highlighted, but it does need a lot of peering at to read. And yes, we know they change their salads every day, but really, would it take that long to print out labels and stick them in a little perspex thingie on top of the counter?

3. That Viva Mexico start offering sides. I’d pay extra for guacamole and salsa if I had the option. Also, we’d love them to get a BYO license and extend their hours.

4. In fact, let’s get all of Leftbank a BYO license, and make the centre tables more communal, so groups of people can pick’n mix their dinners. 5. I know this is a very long shot, but can we please have these train-buses too?

At the top of Cuba Street, opposite Fidel’s and next to a sex shop is what appears to be a crappy little tea room named Chef’s Cafe. You might think that they’re going to try and sell you a pie and a custard square, but you couldn’t be more wrong. See that little sandwich board outside that says “Takeaway Curry $10”? That’s right, this is an Indian restaurant. And it’s good. And it’s insanely cheap*. If you dine in, you’re looking at a cost of around $12.90 for a meat curry, rice and naan. The decor is admittedly nothing at all to look at, but the menu is really extensive and the curries do actually all taste distinctive and tasty, rather than just coming in different colours of the same slop (cough cough Tulsi). Plus, it’s BYO, and not just wine – the corkage on a small bottle of beer is $1, and $2 for big bottles. We really think you should try it out. We would like it to have more patronage. Just not on Tuesday nights, because that’s when we go before the Quiz around the corner at the Cross.

* If you work on the basis that most Indian places charge at least $15 for a curry, and that doesn’t include naan and in some cases doesn’t even include rice.

There is nothing this girl loves more than checking out jewelry, because hello, it’s mostly sparkly and shiny.

Celebrating that very fact is Shine, a jewelry exhibition with a bit of a twist. Instead of your standard hanging from the walls and encased in boxes exhibit, Shine is a a performance exhibition where contemporary and burlesque dancers, actors and circus performers will all be adorned by the creations of six women jewelers from around New Zealand.

In their own words:

“It will be quite unlike any jewellery exhibition you’ve seen; glowing, luminous works will be presented in context, close to the skin, moving, in conversation with its human environment in a glorious evening of burlesque dance. Streams of pearls, gleaming silver chain-links quivering on skin; feathers tickling just underneath a chin… this is a performance that glorifies beauty, and welcomes the human form in all its shapes.”

When: Thursday, Friday, Saturday, 29 – 31st May, 9pm

Book at the Paramount 04 384 4080

Tickets:
* $30 Adult
* $20 Groups 10+
* $15 Concession

web: http://www.myspace.com/shinejewellery

On May 28th – that’s this Wednesday night – PechaKucha returns to Wellington for it’s second Wellington outing.

All you need to do for a great night out is head out to TheNewDowse at 45 Laings Rd in Lower Hutt.

PechaKucha Night is an event in which presenters give brief presentations about a topic of their choosing accompanied by 20 images, each of which is shown for 20 seconds – giving a total presentation time of 6 minutes 40 seconds.

Doors open at 7.30 pm and the whole thing kicks off at 8.20pm. The bar is running all night, so you get to hang with great people, hear about some inspirational stuff and have some fun, all at the same time.

After the jump is the list of lovely speakers they’ve lined up for Wellington.

Well, I know that in the “The Rules” it is commanded that you should never accept a Saturday date after Wednesday, but if you find yourself at an early Saturday evening loose end and you are near the Cuba quarter, may I suggest heading up to Enjoy gallery from 6:00pm onwards. Enjoy is currently holding a workshopping performance series and a little bird told me that there will be delicious tit bits for those willing to participate in some performance art.

The facebook event description sets the scene thusly:

“Anyone who has ever experienced a live piece of performance art is likely to have experienced confused expectations, a sense of embarrassment for the artist and or a desire for something successful to happen. Enjoy’s 2008 performance series addresses these issues for both audience and artist.”

More after the jump…

It’s true. They were toying with us.

In Christchurch news, a photo of Mayor Bob Parker with a dildo has been pulled from a website because it was apparently “not representative”.

In a totally unrelated question, has anyone seen any photos of Kerry with Rex lately?

Opening tonight at the Film Archive (this one well worth a look) is artist Nova Paul’s experimentation with the bright bold world of Technicolor.

Part trippy, wandering colourscape, part highly technical process, film geeks and art lovers will drool over this one…while many should remember her work from last year’s Prospect show at the City Gallery.

Plus she’s presenting a screening of some of her works alongside Technicolor gems from the Archive’s vault on Thursday 5 June – including the fascinating Tuberculosis: How it spreads: How to prevent it (1954, Morrow Productions, NZ)

Opening tonight 5:30pm at the Film Archive. Exhibition runs til Saturday 21 June.

As a fly, I am obviously disgusting and therefore a National voter. But it is entirely possible that you are a better person than me, and you might,therefore, be interested in mingling with others who are that way inclined, which is where this email we received might come in handy:

Drinking Liberally – promoting democracy one pint at a time
Like politics? Like drinking? If you answered yes to both these questions then join us for the launch of Drinking Liberally, a fortnightly event aimed at building ties among left-leaning people. So come along on Wednesday, grab yourself a pint and meet our guest speaker Nandor Tanczos, Green MP.

WHAT Launch of Drinking Liberally Wellington
WHEN 6pm, Wed 21st May
WHERE Southern Cross, Abel Smith Street
SPEAKER Nandor Tanczos, Green MP
CONTACT wellington@drinkingliberally.org

An order of 15 coffees is a lot. I know that. But when I go into a cafe, such as Espressoholic on Courtenay Place, this is not the exchange I expect.

Me: …long list of coffees…
Espressoholic Person: That’s a lot, that’ll take [the two baristas] ages to do.
Me: (in my head) Yes but I will pay you money in exchange for these good and services.
Me: (in reality) Oh well I can go to another place if it’s a problem…
E-hole: No. It’s just…(mutter mutter)

As time goes by a queue forms behind me, because it does take a long time to make 15 coffees (a fact which I aware of before making my order). Do the staff maybe take orders so that these poor folk don’t have to stand and wait? Nope. Obviously I’m the asshole holding up the line with my unreasonable demands for coffee in a coffee shop. So the order was completed and the various coffee types pointed out.

E-Hole: …and that’s the long black
Me: Sorry, I ordered two long blacks
E-Hole: No I just made one.
Me: (pause for thought) ok.

I paid and left. And finally E-holic, I can do without the sneering too, thanks.