Some have accused Mojo of becom­ing Wel­ling­ton’s answer to Star­bucks, but accord­ing to one blog­ger, maybe they’re more like Hoot­ers. Appar­ently, “All the female staff have their shirts buttoned down to the low­est feas­ible but­ton mean­ing that any move­ment will expose a little more breast than your aver­age cafe.” Is this a new mor­al low for cof­fee mar­ket­ing? Such a major incid­ent required fear­less invest­ig­at­ive report­ing, so a fly was dis­patched to Mojo to find out.

After some thor­ough (but dis­creet and respect­ful, of course) research, I had to con­clude that there’s not much to get excited about. The female staff all had pre­cisely one but­ton undone, and while it’s true that their uni­forms had top but­tons that were far lower than the males’, the res­ults were hardly exploit­at­ive or tit­il­lat­ing. There was per­haps the occa­sion­al glimpse of decol­letage, but no more so than one would com­monly encounter with cas­u­al cloth­ing in warm weath­er, and cer­tainly not enough to get Mark Preb­ble hot under the col­lar. The Masked Bar­fly is glad that a respec­ted brand has not sunk to sleazy tac­tics, while also being per­haps just a tad dis­ap­poin­ted.

Mojo MojitoAnoth­er Mojo branch has taken a dif­fer­ent tack when it comes to pro­mot­ing their busi­ness. Mojo Bond St advert­ises a spe­ci­al­ity of the house called a “Mojo Mojito”. This fly con­siders it some­thing of an acquired taste, mix­ing as it does iced espresso, limes, mint and soda. Cer­tainly refresh­ing, while giv­ing one’s wings a bit more buzz, but what’s this? No rum?! That’s not a mojito where I come from. Per­haps we could con­vince them to add a splash of Havana Club, and then things could be get­ting inter­est­ing.

And in fur­ther cof­fee news, the much-loved but gram­mat­ic­ally dubi­ous Peoples (sic) Cof­fee is expand­ing from their New­townista strong­hold to take on the café bar­ons of Cuba St. Their new out­let will be tucked just off the main drag in Gar­rett St, oppos­ite what was once Wino Park and is now Emo Park. After all, gour­mets, fab­ric lov­ers, swarm­ing teens, sauna-goers and gam­blers all need their fix of eth­ic­al caf­feine, too.