Pretentious, moi? Wel­ling­ton has one daily news­pa­per, and that news­pa­per has one res­taur­ant crit­ic, who cer­tainly has his own… dis­tinct­ive style. The Fly has decided that Dav­id Bur­ton needs some account­ab­il­ity. Wel­come to this new series.

What review: Dav­id Bur­ton on The Hangar

David Burton is better than you: 3/5

“Yet des­pite our endur­ing Kiwi attach­ment to milky flat whites and frothy cap­pucci­nos, the fact is that cof­fee con­nois­seur­ship is now mov­ing bey­ond espresso.” 

How very dare we? Don’t we know that’s not how they do that in Italy?

“Cor­rectly spelt gre­mol­ata, this gar­nish is rather hil­ari­ously lis­ted here as “ger­molata” (the per­fect nick­name, I’d have thought, for a grubby chef some­where).”

David Burton is down with the kids: 5/5

” Flight Cof­fee’s giant roast­ing machine set an artis­an­al tone for the Hangar, where undressed tim­ber pan­el­ing and bare con­crete floors still enhance the hip ware­house aes­thet­ic.”

“I ima­gine many par­ents these days, myself included, bang on at their kids about tat­toos and how they lim­it career options. Yet you soon real­ise how ill-foun­ded these pre­ju­dices are when you encounter the genu­ine affabil­ity and pro­fes­sion­al­ism of all those who work front of house at the Hangar, where a thor­ough ink­ing seems almost a pre­con­di­tion of the job.”

Also, he took along a vegan guest. Crikey. What next, tak­ing pub­lic trans­port?

David Burton uses a lot of fancy talk: 3.5/5

“Hence espresso cof­fee beans are more about the bit­ter-sweet car­a­mel­ised roast­ing pro­file than the inher­ent fruity acid­ity of the beans.”

“Call it pre­ten­tious if you will, but these notes did indeed stand out. As the cof­fee cooled, its cit­rus char­ac­ter came pleas­antly to the fore.” You’re mak­ing this too easy for us, Dav­id.

Proportion of Burton to actual food talk: 4/5

Ten para­graphs about cof­fee, three about the food, two about tat­toos. Seems legit.

Accuracy of review: ?/5

Embar­rass­ingly, this Fly has nev­er eaten at the Hangar. You win this time, Bur­ton!