Reviewing the review: David Burton’s goose is cooked
Wellington has one daily newspaper, and that newspaper has one restaurant critic, who certainly has his own… distinctive style. The Fly has decided that David Burton needs some accountability. We’re giving him his own series.
Normally the Fly is prepared to see David Burton’s reviews as some kind of strange performance art, but his “review” of Goose Shack is a whole ‘nother matter. In fact, it’s a such horrible piece of classist bullshit, so the Fly can’t even use the regular rating system. Behold this opening passage:
“To every pair of hip, comfortably off breeders in their thirties, Berhampore must seem quite the burb du jour.
The Victorian-Edwardian-bungaloid housing stock is equally as charming as adjacent Island Bay’s, but not yet as expensive; and you can still sneak your kids into decile 10 Island Bay School.
Most of the suburb enjoys the same sunny, west-facing aspect as adjacent Newtown, only there are none of Newtown’s towering high-rise council flats (whose tenants I believe repeatedly burgled my old house in Daniell St).”
Let’s remember that this is in theory about a place you could go to dine at. Yet Burton has decided instead to perpetuate the stereotype that people in council flats are criminals. To what end? Well it’s enhancing his edge, isn’t it? He used to live in a rough area. David Burton is so daring! Now, my editrix Joanna would have me add that when she was also burgled in Newtown, it was in fact the police who told her it was likely to have been people from council housing – which isn’t a particularly useful thing to say, but the Fly is still not going to excuse Burton here for this pile of shit. And as a Fly, I normally thrive in shit!
There is a total of one paragraph about the food in this piece. Just one. The editors of the Dominion Post should be ashamed that they allowed it to be published.
PS: Island Bay School is zoned, so if you’re buying in Berhampore just to get your kids into it, you’re probably shit out of luck.