Wel­ling­ton has one daily news­pa­per, and that news­pa­per has one res­taur­ant crit­ic, who cer­tainly has his own… dis­tinct­ive style. The Fly has decided that Dav­id Bur­ton needs some account­ab­il­ity. We’re giv­ing him his own series.

Nor­mally the Fly is pre­pared to see Dav­id Bur­ton’s reviews as some kind of strange per­form­ance art, but his “review” of Goose Shack is a whole ‘noth­er mat­ter. In fact, it’s a such hor­rible piece of classist bull­shit, so the Fly can­’t even use the reg­u­lar rat­ing sys­tem. Behold this open­ing pas­sage:

“To every pair of hip, com­fort­ably off breed­ers in their thirties, Ber­ham­pore must seem quite the burb du jour.

The Vic­tori­an-Edwar­d­i­an-bun­galoid hous­ing stock is equally as charm­ing as adja­cent Island Bay’s, but not yet as expens­ive; and you can still sneak your kids into decile 10 Island Bay School.

Most of the sub­urb enjoys the same sunny, west-facing aspect as adja­cent New­town, only there are none of New­town’s tower­ing high-rise coun­cil flats (whose ten­ants I believe repeatedly burgled my old house in Dani­ell St).”

Let’s remem­ber that this is in the­ory about a place you could go to dine at. Yet Bur­ton has decided instead to per­petu­ate the ste­reo­type that people in coun­cil flats are crim­in­als. To what end? Well it’s enhan­cing his edge, isn’t it? He used to live in a rough area. Dav­id Bur­ton is so dar­ing! Now, my editrix Joanna would have me add that when she was also burgled in New­town, it was in fact the police who told her it was likely to have been people from coun­cil hous­ing – which isn’t a par­tic­u­larly use­ful thing to say, but the Fly is still not going to excuse Bur­ton here for this pile of shit. And as a Fly, I nor­mally thrive in shit!

There is a total of one para­graph about the food in this piece. Just one.  The edit­ors of the Domin­ion Post should be ashamed that they allowed it to be pub­lished.

PS: Island Bay School is zoned, so if you’re buy­ing in Ber­ham­pore just to get your kids into it, you’re prob­ably shit out of luck.

Island Bay School Zone - not including Berhampore
Island Bay School Zone – not includ­ing Ber­ham­pore