What’s for lunch, Lower Lambton?

Because we are so almighty powerful and capacious, we’re frequently opening up branch outposts of the Wellingtonista Towers. Previously we’ve asked you what we should be eating for lunch in Molesworth, Mid Lambton and Mercer Street. Now we want to know what to eat in Lower Lambton. So far we’ve discovered good coffee and crazy-tall scones at Trade Kitchen, but mostly it seems like Wishbone is getting most of our money. Where can we pop out to in order to grab a quick sandwich? What hidden gems are in the area? Where should we avoid? Have at it in the comments.

Hey Victoria, tell us a story!

  Hey you, Vic student! Shouldn’t you be busy studying instead of reading blogs? Well fine, if you’re looking for ways to occupy your brain, Vic Books has a suggestion for you

Vicbooks is running a duo of writing competitions, one for Poetry and the other for Short Stories. We want to see what Victoria undergraduate students are capable of when they delve into poetry instead of economics, dip into fiction rather than history (wait… was that irony?) and draw fully on their talents and imagination.

The selected winner in each category will receive over $200 in Book Tokens, plus a pile of selected books from our excellent stock. The winners will also be published in the student paper Salient, on the vicbooks website and on our blog. There are no entry fees and all the details are on our website.

Of course, if you’re not a Vic undergrad, you can always tell us a story instead. Have at it in our comments section. 

Carmen’s a bitch

Tonight saw the opening of the Royal New Zealand Ballet‘s Meridien season of Carmen.

Set in the metropolis of modern-day Rio de Janeiro, Carmen works in a cigarette factory by day and hangs out with a gang of low-life criminals by night. When José makes the mistake of falling in love with Carmen, things spiral out of control. As José’s world falls apart, Carmen’s desire to live life on her terms sets a course that can only lead to disaster.

The ballet is based on the opera by Bizet (Wikipedia contains some serious spoilers, of course), but this ain’t your grandpappy’s ballet. Gangsters tote cellphones, a bullfighter has become a rockstar, the seedy bar has soccer on its TV. The result is a steamy piece of theatre that crackles with sexuality, while still being crammed full of playful humour and heated tension.

I’m not a dance expert, but I’d say that this production uses a lot of elements of modern dance as oppposed to straight ballet. There is a lot more swagger from the guys in their leather jackets. Carmen shakes her ass in a pair of tight jeans, while in her sparkly gown and heels she comes across like Cyd Charisse, all legs and sex.

And let’s talk about the set design! Harsh chainlink fences at the cigarette factory are incorporated into the choreography, neon signs light up the bar, and an iron bed is a stage for some incredible foreplay. The sets all seem very stripped back and simple, but it’s obvious how much thought has gone into them. The Vector Wellington Orchestra play alongside the action on the stage, and seem to have a lot of fun with the bugle-heavy score.

Dirtying up your ears: Erogenous Tones III

 Remember how last year Erogenous Tones was nominated for a TAWA as Best Art Experience? Well now’s your chance to experience it for yourself! 

Erogenous Tones is cumming to you live again, again and again. Now two ladies (we lost one to the devils dandruff in Brazil) read you erotic stories XXX rated, romantic trash, and shocking fan fiction, all accompanied by sexy synthesiser music by the Kremer. A romantic night of aural pleasure, that will make you wanna come again, again and again.

So we’ll see you on Wednesday June 02 at 9pm at The Watusi, right? 

Some more bits and pieces

  • Wendy from the delicious Cultured Petone is running a cheese-making workshop. Learn to make your own haloumi and ricotta. Yum!
  • A treat for NZ Music Month: Phoenix Foundation fan fiction. Bear costumes surprisingly do not feature. Please feel free to contribute your own fan fiction stories in the comments. 
  • Issue #2 of FishHead is out now. We haven’t read it yet so we don’t have further comment to offer at this stage.
  • Richter City Roller Derby is having a CARNIVALE-themed fundraiser at the Garden Club on May 29:

    This fabulous event features the talents of The Eyeballs, The Beat Squad, MC Lisa Tomlins, The Raskolnikovs, DJ Rhys, DJ Forge and DJ Taip. Cheap drinks available until 12am, and a prize will be awarded to the Best Dressed.

  • The menu for the Mebus Winemaker’s Dinner at Cellar-Vate on May 26 has been released (along with the email addresses of everyone on their mailing list, whoops!):  

Leaving a paper trail

We’ve raved about Monterey Bar before, but just quickly, we want to point you to their blog on which they display the best of the artworks drawn on their paper-covered tables. You have to wonder about what was going on when this divorce settlement was written, or what exactly is wrong with these tights – but I could tell you the backstory to Senor Handsome if you ask nicely. 

This job is pretty rubbish

 Remember when rubbish collectors used to come up and collect from your bins at the back of the house, even when you lived up big steep pathways? Good times. Anyway, here’s a mini documentary called Dusties from NZ on Screen for your Friday afternoon viewing. Enjoy!

It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s A TREE

We love community, and we love art, so it’s no surprise that we love community art projects. Especially when they’re organised by our own lovely Sue from Craft 2.0 and the fabulous Knitsch from the TAWA-nominated Outdoor Knit. Needless to say, we’re very excited about It’s A Tree:

there are a few very tall lamp posts outside the New Dowse in Lower Hutt, and OutdoorKnit decided it would be a pretty fun idea to turn them into something different…trees! What OutdoorKnit needs is lots of knitted, crochet or even sewn flowers, leaves and native birds to cover these ‘trees’. The best medium for this is acrylic – it wears better when the weather gets a bit grotty.

The first installation is beginning in a week’s time, so now’s the time to make like a tree and make leaves. Or flowers. Or tuis

Review: Lagerfield

 Last year, for the second time in a row, Team Wellingtonista won the Webstock Pub Quiz (we intend to win it this year too, by the way). Our prize was a $300 tab for Lagerfield at 21 Blair Street. Having been there late at night when it was full of munters, I was not overwhelmed with enthusiasm, but as it turns out, it was a lovely experience. 

On a horribly rainy night, perching at a high banquette table under a heater was a good place to be, especially as the lovely staff told us to let them know if it got too hot. The circular booths that were a key feature of The Last Supper Club may be gone, but the wavey ceiling remains to make the space more interesting, with dark wood adding to the warmth. It’s a shame that there were TVs on, featuring polo, and the music was from the ’80s, but not unbearably so, especially after a little wine.

We started on a bottle of Akarua Rose ($40), and an OldRoaring Meg Pinot Noir ($55), we happily discovered an St. Hallet’s Gamekeeper’s Shiraz which at $35 was one of the cheapest on the list, but was fully flavoured and yum, and so we got through quite a few bottles after that. It made for very happy mouthfuls when paired with the blue cheese and crispy proscuitto entree ($12). Fries and gravy weren’t amazing, but the Drinkers’ Platter of dumplings, prawns, spring rolls, samosas, bread and four dips at $15 was exceptional value. The cheese gratin was a solid hotpot in which to dip crusty bread, and I’m told that the chicken liver parfait was very tasty too.

What’s the real reason the Miss Universe pageant has moved to Wellington?

 Last year the Miss Universe New Zealand pageant was held in Levin. Which makes sense, because Levin is actually pretty much the centre of the universe, based on the laws of gravity and denseness and all that kind of sciencey stuff. And this kind of shocking behaviour happened at the event: 

The beauty queens sashayed their way through Levin and Paraparaumu shopping malls last year, leaving elderly shoppers agog.

But this year, the pageant is moving to Wellington

Event organiser Val Lott has instead opted to hold the final in Wellington after a "gorgeous" day out at the Wellington Cup. "The [Levin] event centre was not set up well enough. The catering was not up to standard. It cost a dreadful amount of money," Mrs Lott said.

But one commentator on the article suggests that there is a much deeper conspiracy going on:

I think this is all complete rubbish, and the organiser just wants to glam the thing up and get rid of the ruggeds that might otherwise have attended.

So what exactly is going on here? Are we through the looking glass? Do we even need to mention Terry Serepisos here, given that it’s Donald Trump who owns the Miss Universe franchise? 

Answer the poll – The Miss Universe Pageant is moving to Wellington because: