What not to wear to the sevens

by Joanna on January 28, 2013

Billy T James costumes - relevant to NZ, comfortable to wear, unique, very appropriate. Nice work! (Pic stolen from the Dom Post) Billy T James costumes – relevant to NZ, comfortable to wear, unique, very appropriate. Nice work! (Pic stolen from the Dom Post)

It’s that time of year when people will call us buzzkills for not enjoying having our streets extra-clogged with vomit and having all of our female friends feel extra unsafe on the streets because of all the douchecanoes who think that because they’re wearing a costume they can harass with impunity.

But we’re not buzzkills, really! And to prove that, we’ve put our heads together and come up with some Wellington-inspired ideas for your Sevens costumes.

Just don’t do blackface, okay? And don’t harass people in the street. What are your costume ideas?

Wellington person January 28, 2013 at 1:44 pm

I just wanted to say that
a) Enzo is now clean shaven. I can’t even comprehend what this means.
b) ‘douchecanoe’ – brilliant!

Seamonkey Madness January 29, 2013 at 11:31 am

Wait, just to clarify: is that douche-canoe (as in the rowy, paddly kind); or douche-cano (as in the lava/magma/ash kind)??

Both are quite spiffy, but the douche-cano is just all kinds of awesome.

Joanna January 29, 2013 at 11:47 am

Douchecanoes (which is what I meant) paddle down the street erupting their douchery all over everything out of their douchecanos.

Paula Warren January 28, 2013 at 1:46 pm

I’ve watched a lot of sevens costumes in recent years, both on the streets and in the trains. Some make up for the vomit. Others are another aesthetic assault.

My tips on what not to wear would be:
1. Anything that will make you die of heat stroke. I watched a man on a train one afternoon dressed as some sort of animal, and he had almost expired from the heat before he even got to Wellington, with the costume only half on.
2. Anything that can’t cope with a Wellington windy southerly. Dying of cold isn’t quite as bad as heat stroke, but your tarzan costume isn’t going to look very good with a coat over the top or goosebumps all over. And it will help the rest of us if it stays on.
3. Anything that involves very short shorts on average NZ men. And while I wouldn’t want to encourage too much body consciousness, a wee bit would be a help to some of those blokes out there who have forgotten that they have packed in 30 years of bad food and excessive beer.
4. Things you can walk in. It’s a long way up that ramp…

Michael Hudson-Doyle January 28, 2013 at 2:16 pm

“Anything that involves very short shorts on average NZ men.”

I know I’ve only been here for 5 years, but I *think* this problem is more widespread than the 7s?

sue January 28, 2013 at 3:00 pm

obviously the cat coustumes must be super tight and super revealing
for both men and women, becuase here at the wellingtonista we like equality.
even if it is a crime against fashion

stephen clover February 1, 2013 at 2:27 pm

Sadly, anecdotal reports of blackface costumes (Uruwera raids victims, srsly!?) and “faggot” being bellowed at people in the street.

Joanna February 1, 2013 at 2:39 pm

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